Dear Vanilla Ice,

Nobody in this world has ever unintentionally made me laugh as hard as you. The funniest thing I ever saw is when you were on Circus Of The Stars, and you jumped through a ring of fire on your motorbike. Cool As Ice is the best movie ever to watch when you're super hungover (a close-second is TMNT 2: The Secret Of The Ooze). Sometimes, when I'm amazingly sad, I just think about your various outfits, and life seems a little brighter. Remember when you were on The Surreal Life? Me too. Remember when it was like 1993, and your star-power had faded completely, so you grew some dreadlocks and put out a rap/rock album, but the only people that came to your concerts were fat chicks that wanted to hear Ice Ice Baby and see you take your shirt off? Me tooo!

Basically what I'm saying is, keep on keepin' on. The world would not be the same without your antics.

~sarah p.