Dear Kanye

I don't want to like you, I really don't. But it's kind of hard when you put out something like this. The tractor bouncing is pure genius and thank you for not taking your shirt off, unlike someone else who's album is dropping the same day as yours.

-Pickle

I don't ask for much in this world.

Jesus, Allah, Buddha, and that elephant guy with all of the arms must've had a brain-storming session, and this is what they came up with. Thanks, guys.

~sarah p.

More Accurate Than Miss Cleo (Summer Jam 2007 Predictions)

We're sitting here on the edge of summer, and I don't know if we've found our first summer jam of the season yet. How would your BBQ have turned out last year if Three 6 wasn't there to make it happen? Do you think you would have ever got to second base with that girl in the summer of 1994 if Warren G and Nate Dogg didn't collabo on Regulate? Doubt it.
The fact of the matter is that summer jams make all of the good parts of summer possible.
Here are our top picks for the songs to get your asses moving in the summer of 2007:

5. Party and Bullshit (Ratatat Remix) - Notorious B.I.G. Yeah, yeah, I know this track is so old, but this remix is about as fresh as it gets, and there's nothing better than taking a classic and making it new again.
4. D.A.N.C.E. - Justice. I can't say I totally love this track at all, but just try and avoid it this summer... Not gonna happen.
3. On Fire - Lil' Mama. You already adore Lip Gloss, right? Don't lie, you do. This one's gonna tear it up, no question.
2. Can't Tell Me Nothing - Kanye West. I've said it before and I'll say it again... I don't want to like Kanye at all, but how can I stop when he keeps pulling shit like this out of the bag?
1. Big Things Poppin - T.I. It took me a while to grow into this one, but then I listened to it on repeat about a billion times yesterday, and it got under my skin and straight into my heart like every good summer jam should.

Honorable mention: Song 4 Mutya - Groove Armada. Someone needs to lift the beat off of this one and put it over something amazing, because I hate all of the singing parts so, so much. That being said, the beat has been killing me for a week now, and I don't think it's about to stop anytime soon.

~sarah p.

5. Solta O Frango - Bonde Do Role Because it's not a real summer unless something comes from Brazil.
4. Get Me Bodied - Beyonce You know it's going to be a summer hit when you can clap along really fast.
3. I'm a Flirt (rmx) - R. Kelly ft T.I. and T. Pain It's not a real summer unless R. Kelly is in it.
2. Hit Pop - Numero# For some reason the French have been pumping out a lot of great music lately.
1. You Know What it is - T.I. ft Wyclef This has everything a summer banger needs. Southern Rapper, check. Reggae guy, check. Good beat, check. Crank this one up and get the BBQ started.

-Pickle

Don't let me down.

Letdowns.... They're pretty awful, aren't they? There have been so many times that I've gotten all hyped up about someone or something, only to realize that things were never as rad as they once seemed. More than anything, I've been fucked around by the music industry. Blame whatever you want, there have been so many times that I've been all amped about an artist, and that artist goes and pisses on all of my hopes and dreams about their career.

Here are some of my biggest music letdowns ever:


1. Jay-Z - Kingdom Come
This one's obvious, but how awful was 'Show Me What You Got'? I was so jazzed about that album that I could barely sleep before it came out. I bumped Jay-Z every day and every night like it was my fucking job, and now I can barely make it through a single Black Album track without shaking my head and turning it off. Let's hope Hov doesn't try to have another clown-ass comeback in the future, because I'm convinced that he's lost it for good.

2. Lupe Fiasco - Food and Liquor
Lupe was an unfortunate victim of over-hype. Prior to his studio-album release, things seemed so promising. His mixtape cuts were insane, and it seemed as if the guy was pretty set to release something above-average. People talked about Lupe like he was going to start some sort of revolution. Cut to the day of his release, where everyone had already heard 'Kick, Push' so many times that buying the album seemed pointless. That being said, I just heard a cut off of Lupe's second release, and there may still be a glimmer of hope.... Maybe.

3. Snoop Dogg - Tha Doggfather
From 1993-1996, I pretty much spent all of my time walking around the neighbourhood with Chucks on my feet and 'Doggystyle' in my walkman. I knew all of the lyrics and was fucking stoked when I heard about a new album coming out. I owned 'Tha Doggfather' for a total of three days before I traded it at Recordland for Dancemix '96, which was clearly the better choice. Since 1996, it's been one shitty track after another, and although I don't hate Snoop as a person, the guy doesn't have a hope in hell of redeeming himself musically.

4. Outkast - Speakerboxxx/The Love Below
Although I was never a 'Ms. Jackson' fan, I honestly liked most of their early shit, and 'B.O.B' and 'So Fresh, So Clean' gave me high hopes for Outkast's next release, until I learned that Andre 3000 and Big Boi would be doing separate albums in a duo set. "Uh-oh", I thought to myself, "This can't be good". I was right. Nowadays, I feel like everything Outkast does is full of pretension and false confidence. Are you cool enough to be making fucking cartoons, Andre 3000? For real? Didn't think so.

5. Guys cutting off their hair.
Luda and Busta trimmed their hedges this year.... If ?uestlove loses his 'fro, I'm done for good.

6. Overplay.
This is the demise of so many great tracks. The worst feeling in the world is when you hear something so outstandingly fresh, but know deep down that you're only going to enjoy the glow for a few weeks, before every car that drives by has it blaring from their speakers, and it gets to the point where you find yourself sitting down when they play it at the bar. Weak.

7. Live shows that don't measure up.
There have been more than a few times where I've gone to see someone live, and realize that there's a lot to be said for 'studio magic'.


I guess, more than anything, there are lessons that can be learned from all of this: don't get too excited about anyone's new release (because anyone, no matter how perfect you think they are, can get caught up in weak-ass samples and boring rhymes, except for Ghostface), don't believe the hype (when someone is trying to tell you that something is going to be good, realize that most people have no idea what they're talking about), and realize that most love-affairs with songs and/or artists are like your last summer girlfriend.... Sweet and exciting for the first little bit, tapering off to a bitter taste in your mouth when you realize that they're really not all you thought they were cracked up to be.

~sarah p.