Break out the eggnog

Here's something to get you in the Christmas mood. All you have to do now is brave the malls, deal with traffic, spend to much money, drink to much, eat to much, fight over the "last one", get into a family fight, watch someone cry, and it's all over.

-Pickle

Free Publicity and Hot Dog(g)s.

There's obviously no better way to get free publicity than to get yourself arrested. However, when you're a guy like Snoop Dogg, and you've been arrested so many times that nobody even bats an eyelash anymore, is it really worth it? When you know the first names of all of the arresting officers in LA, maybe it's time to stay home for a bit.... I hear reality TV is not too shabby this year.

~sarah p.

p.s. We all know that Snoop Dogg has put out a bunch of albums, and dabbled in the art of being a porn director, but did you know that he is releasing his own brand of wieners? I sure hope they're better than Rap Snacks.

Mixxxtape Monday:

After linking Blender's disappointing 'Filthiest Lyrics of All Time' list, we decided that we could do better. Luther Cambell has made us feel funny, Kool Keith has busted lyrics that made even the most open-minded person blush. Even classic dudes like Biggie have brought out their inner dirtbag. Here are some of our favorite raunchy lyrics:

Side A:

1. Ass 'N Titties - DJ Assault
2. Put That Pussy On Me - Spank Rock
3. Keith 'N Me - Princess Superstar ft. Kool Keith
4. Punk Bitch - Too $hort
5. Wait Remix - Ying Yang Twins ft. Jackie O
6. Pop That Pussy - 2 Live Crew
7. Darling Nikki - Prince
8. S.T.D. - Necro
9. Fuck Me (Interlude) - Notorious B.I.G.
10. All Night Every Day - Esham ft. Kool Keith and Heather Hunter

~sarah p.

Side B:

1. Wouldn't Get Far - The Game
2. Big Booty Hoes - Notorious B.I.G. ft Too $hort
3. Pimp the Hoe - Too $hort
4. Face Down, Ass up - 2 Live Crew
5. Get Off My Dick and Tell Yo Bitch to Come here (remix) Ice Cube
6. I want Pussy - Ol Dirty Bastard
7. Treat her Like a Prostitute - Slick Rick
8. Suck My Dick - Two Trick Daddy's
9. Let a Ho be a Ho - Ghetto Boys
10. Girl Let Me Touch You - Dr Octagon

-Pickle

Don't Call it a Comeback

Jay Z, Jigga, H.O.V., whatever you want to call yourself these days. You are becoming more and more like Diddy every day. The 300 different names, the high profile girlfriend, the shitty acts you signed to your record label, the comeback album. Yep you are the same person except..... Diddy did the comeback album better. That's right I said it. There are maybe 2 banging tracks on this one. What you didn't have enough time? You had like 4 yrs. So Jigga, I am stripping you from your self proclaimed "King of New York" title. You can be the jester because that album was pretty funnily bad.

-Pickle

My 'favorites' tab is full again (another link post):

10 ways to make beer better. Is that possible? It's already pretty good, you know.

I was reading Popular Science one day, and in the back of the magazine, there was more penis-enlargement ads than I'd ever seen. Coincidence? Probably not.

The Filthiest Lyrics of All Time. I'm not gonna lie, I'm kind-of heartbroken that 2 Live Crew didn't make the list. Also, I think I could make a better list with far filthier songs. I'm sure some sort of list will appear on the blog in the near future.

When I'm drunk, I dance and rap a lot (both very poorly). Here's what celebrities get up to when they're a little sauced (with videos!).
*As a bonus, here's The 5 Most Obvious Drug-Fueled TV Appearances Ever.

I don't know if other people do this, but sometimes I scribble stuff on money when I'm bored or waiting in line somewhere. It's never anything awesome (usually just coloring in teeth, a few moustaches, and rocket ships crashing into the White House on US bills). Here's a group of people that have decided to do the same.

When I was a kid, I used to have dreams of swimming around in jello. There's this spa in Japan that lets you swim around in sake (and red wine). I don't know what I was thinking... Sake would be way better than jello....I don't even really like jello.


That's all for this week. I'm sure there'll be another one of these sooner than later (whenever the 'favorites' tab fills up again).

~sarah p.

A match made somewhere between India and Bayside High.

AC Slater, meet Little Superstar. Little Superstar, meet AC Slater. I think you guys will get along juuust fine (and maybe you will start a dance-troupe).

~sarah p.

Mixtape Monday: One-Hit Wonders

It's all too common... Artists release a single, it raises up the charts, and no other single they ever release even comes close to the success of the initial single. Although every track on this list is debatable, depending on who you talk to, here are some tracks that had the potential to start up a very fruitful career, but just didn't ever pan out:

Side A

1. Young Mc - Bust a Move. I don't really consider him a 1 hit wonder. If you get the chance listen to the whole Stone Cold Rhymin cd.
2. The Choice is Yours - Black Sheep.
3. Regulators - Warren G.
4. Here comes the Hotsteppa - Ini Kamoze.
5. Let Me Clear My Throat - DJ Kool. This also fetaured 1 hit wonder and Celebrity Fit Club alumni Biz Markie.
6. Renee - The Lost Boyz. Kinda like Onyx, had great potential.
7. Dance Tonight - Lucy Pearl. This one I don't understand, they had all the makings of a supergroup.
8. Wild Thing - Tone Loc.
9. Fire - Joe Budden. You just no he's going nowhere.
10. Never Scared - Bone crusher Ft Killa Mike and T.I.

-Pickle

Side B

1. I Wish - Skee-Lo
2. I.N.C. Ride - Masta Ace Incorporated
3. My Neck, My Back (Lick It) - Khia
4. Party All The Time - Eddie Murphy
5. Back In The Day - Ahmad
6. Laffy Taffy - D4L (Although it's still early in D4L's career, let's be honest with ourselves).
7. Rebirth of Slick (Cool Like That) - Digable Planets
8. Just a Friend - Biz Markie
9. Rumpshaker - Wreckx-N-Effect
10. Chain Hang Low - Jibbs (Once again, some would say it's a tad too early to call little Jibbs a one-hit wonder, but I beg to differ).

~sarah p.

Dear skull face-tattoo guy:

Man, I know that your dad wasn't very nice to you when you were growing up, and the bullies used to pull your pants down when you were in high school, but getting a face-tattoo? Too extreme.
Now, I'm pretty liberal-minded, and I like tattoos, but getting a face-tattoo is like wearing your sadness for the world to see.
You have the choice of not looking in a mirror, the rest of the world has to look at your face all the time. I'm pretty sure the dude that serves you your breakfast taquitos at the Sever doesn't want to have to come face-to-face with Skeletor every morning. Please have a little consideration, and wear a ninja mask for the rest of your life (or at least mine).

~sarah p.

Mixtape Monday : ODB (Nov 15, 1968- Nov 13, 2004) R.I.P.

Side A

1. Brooklyn Zoo II (Tiger Crane) - ODB ft. Ghostface Killah
2. Fantasy Remix - Mariah Carey ft OBD
3. C.R.E.A.M. - Wu-Tang Clan
4. Ghetto Supastar - Pras ft. ODB and Mya
5. Hip Hop Drunkies - Tha Alkaholiks ft ODB
6. Stand up- ODB ft. Ghostface and Cappadonna
7. Skrilla - ODB ft RZA
8. Intoxicated - ODB ft. Raekwon, Method Man, and Macy Gray
9. Down South - ODB ft Killer Mike
10. As High As Wu-Tang Get - Wu-Tang Clan

~sarah p.

Side B

1. Shimmy Shimmy Ya - ODB
2. Build Me Up - Rhymefest Ft ODB
3. Protect Y a Neck - Wu Tang Clan
4. Keep the Receipt - Kanye West ft Dirt McGurt aka ODB
5. Brooklyn Zoo - ODB
6. Dogged Out - ODB ft Big Skye and Too $hort
7. Cold Blooded - ODB (Produced by the Neptunes)
8. Maria - Wu Tang Clan
9. If Y'all Want War - ODB ft Ghostface Killah and Royal Flush
10. Raw Hide - Odb Ft Method Man and Raekwon

***BONUS*** Wooh Hah (remix) Bustah Rhymes Ft ODB. There was a good solid 2 yrs where that song went on to everysingle mixtape/cd I made.

-Pickle

Cassettttttttttes.

Maybe you didn't know, but we're pretty mixtape crazy around here. Here's a quick tribute to the actual medium: the cassette.
Mix CDs are pretty fun, but how awesome does it feel when you make a mixtape with so many perfect songs on each side that you don't even have to rewind or fast-forward it? Even if you do have to rewind or fast-forward, I think the wait probably makes the good songs sound even better.
Let's not kid ourselves, one of the best feelings in the world is when you'd wait around all day with your finger on the record button, and finally the song that you wanted would come on the radio, and you'd barely even get the DJ's voice on the song at all, so it sounded pretty much perfect. Oh, man.

Here's to you, cassettes.

~sarah p.

p.s. You know what used to be totally amazing? When you would take an old cassette that was totally horrible, like maybe the second Kris Kross album or something, and you'd put scotch tape over the top of it, and you'd have yourself a blank tape that you could record over. You can't do that with your used CDs (I don't think).

Mixtape Monday: Facial Hair Edition

I have a newfound respect for the time and effort it takes to grow and properly trim a beard. For the first time since I hit puberty this is the longest I have gone without shaving. And it sucks. It's itchy and patchy and doesn't really grow on my face too much. I do have a sweet neard though. So to all the mountain men out there, this one's for you.

Side A

1. Hustlin' - Rick Ross. His beard is seriously outstanding, too bad his new album isn't.
2. Sunshine - Mos Def
3. Woo-Hah (remix) - Bustah Rhymes ft Ol' Dirty Bastard. 2 Beards 1 video
4. Strange Fruit - Pete Rock ft Cappadonna
5. Bop Gun (One Nation) - Ice Cube ft George Clinton
6. C.R.E.A.M- Wu Tang Clan. As seen here, they all are bearded.
7. Shadows of Tomorrow - MF Doom Ft Lord Quas
8. Drop da Top - Trick Daddy. Not only is he ugly as fuck but he has probably one of the worst beards besides Del.
9. Can't Stop This- The Roots Game Theory is sooo sick go out and buy it if you don't already own it.
10. Chemical Calisthentics - Blackalicous

-Pickle

Side B:

1. 6 'N The Mornin' - Ice T. You can tell that Ice-T works extra hard on his facial-hair grooming....I bet he uses a ruler to get proper angles.
2. Stand Up - Ludacris. Luda's always got some sort of 'stache or beard or sideburns or something.
3. Rep Yo' Click- Freeway ft. Lil Jon. Freeway has maybe the best beard in hip-hop.... A power-beard, if you will.
4. Mr. Big Stuff - Heavy D and the Boyz. Fat rappers and facial hair? Good combo.
5. Stop Snitchin' - Ice Cube. Produced by Swizz Beatz, so it's a double-beard track.
6. The Corner - Common. Due to the fact that Common is a vegetarian and a total wuss, he is required by law to keep at least a few day's worth of stubble at all times, or his testicles will fall off. I think that's how it works.
*** Okay. I'm going to take a quick moment and mention a certain beef between Ice Cube (beard) and Common (beard) that had to be solved by sitting down and chatting with Louis Farrakhan (no beard, big bowtie). Could the beef have something to do with facial hair? Let's look at the facts: beard = testosterone, testosterone = fights. Coincidence? Probably.***
7. Quicksand Millenium - The Roots. Black Thought and ?uestlove made a facial-hair pact back in the day. Their scruffiness and ruggedness help the whole group get more tail.
8. Daytona 500 - Ghostface Killah. See?
9. Let's Go - Pharoahe Monch. Pharoahe wouldn't sound nearly as agressive if he didn't have a beard. One time he shaved, and he sounded like Nick Carter until he grew his beard back.
10. Going Back To Cali - LL Cool J. Produced by the ultimate beardo, Rick Rubin.

~sarah p.
p.s. I have never had a beard before, but let me tell you: I think about them all day long. I can sit here and pretend that I don't think beards are damn smooth, but let's face the facts... They make me feel kinda funny.

Dear Vanilla Ice,

Nobody in this world has ever unintentionally made me laugh as hard as you. The funniest thing I ever saw is when you were on Circus Of The Stars, and you jumped through a ring of fire on your motorbike. Cool As Ice is the best movie ever to watch when you're super hungover (a close-second is TMNT 2: The Secret Of The Ooze). Sometimes, when I'm amazingly sad, I just think about your various outfits, and life seems a little brighter. Remember when you were on The Surreal Life? Me too. Remember when it was like 1993, and your star-power had faded completely, so you grew some dreadlocks and put out a rap/rock album, but the only people that came to your concerts were fat chicks that wanted to hear Ice Ice Baby and see you take your shirt off? Me tooo!

Basically what I'm saying is, keep on keepin' on. The world would not be the same without your antics.

~sarah p.

Straight from the horses mouth

Last night I saw Cadence Weapon at Broken City and he confirmed the truth that Rhymefest is NOT playing tonight with Jurassic 5. So sell your tickets folks the only reason to go is not coming. For more information on last nights shit show go here.

-Pickle