Ginsu 3000

This guy has all the answers.

A big deal.

Clever Wu-Tang mashups are kind-of a big deal.
(Download it quick, I assume it won't be up long)
~sarah p.

Holy Calimity Scream Insanity!

The Rub, Good

Cadence Weapon, Goood

Double Jacks, Not so much.

Be sure to check out Broken City. They are replacing bring your own vinyl night, sorry coked up hipsters.

-Pickle

News Flash:

If you buy a turtle with a religious figure on it's belly, then nothing will go wrong in your life ever. Hell, I'm not religious in the least, but I'm about to go down to the pet store and find me a jesus-turtle (or the swamp... you know, whatever). I need to win the lottery.

~sarah p.

As seen on our blog.

The top ten stupidest 'As Seen On TV' products.

I still want a Magic Bullet (and a George Foreman Grill, and everything Ron Popeil has ever made).

~sarah p.

As you leave your house this weekend, keep T in mind.

Fashion counts.
... Just ask Mr. T.

~sarah p.

I got the internet blowing up

This shit is gangsta

Tops on the list of things that would make me uncomfortable...

... is the Bicycle Clown Brigade.
Seriously....Sick.

~sarah p.

Imagine the possibilities.

Look what I made!
Personalized ketchup bottles? Do you realize the potential this has? Oh shit, son.

~sarah p.

...But that's my niche.

No gay rappers?

Bay Area Mixtape (side B).

1. Why Ya Want to Get Funkee - Del tha Funkee Homosapien. Some tracks start to play, and kind-of fuck around a little bit, and you keep wondering when it's going to start getting good. Not this one. This track is no-nonsense good times.
2. Northern Califoolya - E-40. I play like I'm not into E-40, but that is a blatant lie.
3. Make Your Move - Hieroglyphics ft. Goaple. For about a year after I got into this track, I put it on every mix I made. It was a good track to put in the middle of all of the hard shit to calm things down for just a damn minute.
4. Cusswords - Too $hort. What is a mixtape without Too $hort? I'll tell you what it is. Trash.
5. Family and Friends - Pep Love ft. Goaple. I've been searching for this track for a couple of years now. It was on a Heiro mix that they put out a few years ago, but I haven't had much luck finding it locally. Help a brother out?
6. Pray - MC Hammer. Hmm. You can't really start talking about Oakland in general without throwing Hammer in the mix. Even at the height of his popularity, I don't think anyone was taking the guy seriously, even though he claimed to be 2-legit. Okay, Hammer. Keep on it, man.
7. Me-O-Mi-O - Casual. I was so into this track when I was 14 that the Fear Itself cassette stopped playing properly.
8. Sex Packets - Digital Underground. Just like any 2-Live Crew album when I was young, Sex Packets made me feel funny in the 'tingly, need to be by myself for a few minutes' way.
9. Make Way - Souls of Mischief. This track is off of Souls of Mischief's barely-recognized 3rd album, Focus (which is a pretty amazing album in general, I promise).
10. Super Hyphy - Keak Da Sneak. Keak, a common collaborator with E-40 and Too $hort, began the 'hyphy movement' in 2000 as a means to bring attention to the harder side of Oakland's hip hop scene. Similar to crunk-style, hyphy beats are dirty as hell, and this song showcases the whole deal nicely.

(I know I went kinda heavy on the Hieroglyphics-affiliated stuff, but seriously... Do you blame me?)

~sarah p.

Sorry no gay rappers here (Except Hammer)

It's been a while since a mixtape graced the posts of our blog so here we go.

Bay Area Mixtape

1. Burnt - Del tha Funky Homosapien & Heiroglyphics. If you skateboarded in the early 90's you will recognize this song from Mike Carroll's part In Questionable. Arguably the best vid of all time.
2. I Love Boosters - The Coup. Sometimes I wish I lived in the ghetto, then I could buy stuff from cars instead of ebay.
3. 93 til infinity - Souls of Mischief. Probably the most played to death song ever from this area. But, I still like it.
4. Do What You Like - Digital Underground. Sex Packets was the first cd I ever owned. And this song was 9 mins long, needless to say my mom wasn't too stoked.
5. Baking Soda in Minnesota - Andre Nikatina. P. Diddy, this song is a prime example of how to use violins in a sample. Pay attention.
6. The Bitch Sucks Dick - Too $hort. If you grew up on the West Coast, you rocked the shit out of Too $hort.
7. Cab Fare - Souls of Mischief ft Hieroglyphics. Sooooo goood.
8. Changes - Tupac (RIP). I had to throw that one in.
9. Mista Dobilina - Del. When I was like 10 yrs old we could get a raio station from Vancouver at night. This song was on the top 10 at ten.
10. U and Dat - E-40.

****BONUS**** Can't touch this - MC Hammer

Just so you know...

Cadence Weapon (who I would probably stalk if he didn't live in Edmonton because I like him so much) has an mp3 blog. Yessss.

~sarah p.

Be there or.... You know the rest.

Should be a pretty big deal.

~sarah p.

p.s. The CJSW Slurpee Cup after-party is also being held tomorrow night, next-door to Amsterdam Rhino, at Broken City. So, you should probably just go back and forth between the two, okay?

Finally! A website made just for me.

I've been an avid reader of the coolhunting website for a few years now. It really helps to pass the day at work.
Let's be honest, though.... We all know that I belong at the uncoolhunter a whole lot more (in the search of antiglobal no-trends).

I'm going to get back to reading about the future of robots (I'm not joking).

(eta- Popular Science has more penis-enlargement ads than any other magazine I've ever seen. Coincidence?)

~sarah p.

Mama said...

I love mashups. What's not to like? You have two songs, each a classic on their own, but together they are like the Justice League. Unstoppable.

Top 3 Best Mash Up Albums

3. Double Black Album

2. The Gray album

1. Gnarles Biggie

-Pickle

Thanks, Papa Smurf. (and a much-anticipated update)

8 Important Lessons Learned From 80's Cartoons.



An update:
Breathe easy, guys. The authorities are really working hard on this Maine Mystery Beast deal. Somebody get these guys a raise.

~sarah p.

We can all sleep a little better....

...Now that they've found the Maine Mystery Beast.

Not that I'm being a skeptic, but here are another 100 amazing hoaxes.

~sarah p.

It's like ice cream on my toes

When did skateboarding become the new ghost riding? It seems like a lot of new videos lately feature skateboarding or skateboarders. As a general rule of thumb, if Fred Durst, Pharell, and Mandy Moore do it, then you probably shouldn't.

-Pickle

Shaniqua, Lafonda, and....

More ghetto names. Too busy at work will be back in top form soon.

-Pickle

My five favorite kung fu movies (this week).

I like kicking. I like movies. My love of both combines whenever I watch kung fu, which for the past few weeks, has been a lot (it goes in phases).

Here are my five favorite right now:

5. Last Hurrah for Chivalry. If you're thinking about getting into kung fu, this is a good place to start. Old-school John Woo at his finest (then he started to hang out with Cruise and Travolta, and things kinda went downhill from there).
4. Five Deadly Venoms. This is not the best kung fu movie in the world, but it is awfully entertaining. Five styles (Centipede, Toad, Lizard, Snake, and Scorpion), one movie, perfect.
3. Magnificent Butcher. If you like fat guys and kung fu (which I totally do), then Sammo is your man. You'll spend most of the movie questioning how a guy that chubby can bust moves like he does. Impressive to say the least.
2. The 36th Chamber of Shaolin. One of the best Shaw Brothers films of all time. A little more realistic than most, and with all of the Wu-Tang connections, how can you go wrong?
1. Drunken Master (not to be confused with 'Legend of the Drunken Master', filmed as a novelty project 16 years after the original was released). In the hierarchy of styles, Drunken Fist is at the top, because it looks so awesome, and there's alcohol involved (some people will tell you that the concept of 'style' in kung fu is dead. These people are stupid). This was Jackie Chan at his best, before he started making movies with Jennifer Love Hewitt.


It is a good idea to get into kung fu if you're poor, because you can find the DVDs in Chinatown for crazy cheap (3 for $10).

~sarah p.

officially renouncing awful collabs.

With all of the shitty collabs we've been talking about lately (please no more rap and rock/pop-punk together, unless your name is Rick Rubin), here's props to the guys that have done it properly.

Murs, El-P, Aesop Rock, and RJD2 (who I'm totally back into after Marco spun 'Here's What's Left' last night) got together at The Bowery in NYC a while back for a Definitive Jux love-in.

Collabs..... Do them right, or don't do them at all.

~sarah p.

The greatest things I've found (this week).

Jay-Z? Ummmm.... What are you.... No, no, ummm. Wait... Please don't. (I still forgive you)

Jesus in a nacho pan. See? I told you guys nachos were next to god.

Top 10 grossest candies. My vote goes to Thrills (but don't get me wrong, I'll still chew them).

I love lists, and I love creepy things. Here are the Top Ten Creepiest Ad Icons.

Tiny animals on fingers.

Oh, man. If Sacha Baron Cohen keeps on his path, he might just be one of the funniest guys of the year. Oh, wait. He already is. Keep on keepin' on, man. Here's a clip from when Borat visited Conan.

That's all I've got.

~sarah p.

Like a STD he's everywhere

Looks like someone needs the money after leaving their wallet in El Segundo. Well, Q-Tip, I'll tell you the scenario. You took too much time off, your solo album was ok. (except that your 2 singles sounded a lot alike) And now it's too late to get back together. So keep on popping up on every new album from Busta Rhymes to Rhymefest, I'll still light a candle for you.

-Pickle

Before I figured out that 'bitches ain't shit'.

Maybe this is wrong to say, and forgive me if I offend anyone, but I was a pretty horny eight-year-old (in the tamest sense).
I didn't have a TV at my house, but my best friends had two, and they were allowed to watch them whenever they wanted. Thus, I would spend a day at their house watching late 80's/early 90's sitcoms, and spend the rest of the week thinking about kissing tv characters. Here are my top five late 80's/early-90's TV character crushes:


5. Balki Bartokomous (Perfect Strangers)

At the age of eight, I had never eaten meat, let alone eaten a goat, but I imagined every single day that it would taste delicious (it does!). Balki looked like he knew how to cook a goat.

4. Vicky (Small Wonder) This was more of a friendship crush. I thought it would be awesome to have a robot friend, because if some punk kid was bugging me, then Vicki could bite him in half with her robot jaws of steel.

3. Winston Zeddmore (The Real Ghostbusters)
I didn't really 'get' that cartoons weren't actual living beings. I thought they were just real people that were way more awesome because they didn't ever have to go to the bathroom.

2. Steve Urkel (Family Matters) I know I've already given Urkel some love on this blog, but he's a pretty important guy. Urkel was a good crush for one reason: he had no standards. No standards = no baths for me, and Urkel would stiil want to hang out. As a dirty hippy eight-year-old, how could I lose?

1. Kevin Arnold (The Wonder Years) Kevin Arnold was a fucking dreamboat. That's all that needs to be said.

~sarah p.

Where's the keg brah?

Jurassic 5 and Dave Mathews, NO THANKS!!!! Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for musicians making a statement through their music, but c'mon, Dave fricken Mathews. How does that work? Hip Hop and frat guy date rape music, as Ma$e would say "uh uh."

-Pickle

Shatner's looking maaaaad bloated.

Oooohh Shatner......Diuretic tablets, warp speed ahead.


...and for some clothes worn by Shatner's fellow plump celebrities, check out Reel Clothes (you could be wearing Cheech Marin's suit from Nash Bridges right now) .

~sarah p.

...and starring Woody Harrelson as himself.

Last night, your favorite blogging team headed over to the Uptown to to watch A Scanner Darkly (a big thanks to Beatroute for tickets).
It was pretty okay, although as Dylan mentioned at the end of the movie, it 'would have been better on mushrooms'.

The film had a pretty decent cast, with Keanu Reeves in the lead as a cop-turned-drug addict. In supporting roles were Winona Ryder and Robert Downey Jr.

A few minutes into the movie, Woody Harrelson stumbles in. In the same way that Keanu totally played himself in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, it was almost as if Woody had just shown up to set one day and asked "Ummm.... Can I just play myself from now on? Acting is real hard sometimes".

Needless to say, the live-action-cum-animation was more than impressive, and it was a decent way to spend an exhausted Thursday evening.


"Hi. I'm Woody Harrelson. You might know me from Cheers, and my many drug-busts."

~sarah p.

golf with a rake

Last night we rented the Benchwarmers, another masterpiec from Happy Madison Productions. The same people that brought us the classics Grandma's Boy and Joe Dirt, so right away you know it's gonna be awsome. The best part of the movie however, was the bonus features. All the cast is talking about how great baseball is and Mr. October himself sais "Cut up a hose, mop or stick" in references to a bat. A "HOSE" can you imagine playing baseball with a hose. I laughed sooo hard that chocolate milk came out my nose. (I swear it had nothing to do with my glaucoma) Seriously that made my week.

-Pickle

Give the man a little respect.

Despite whether or not the trailer looks shitty, I will watch anything Will Farrell makes. I will throw all of my self-respect in the trash at the Blockbuster, and rent movies like "Kicking and Screaming".
Point is, Will Farrell is perfect.

Here are the 10 Best Will Farrell Skits, complete with videos for each.

~sarah p.

Two turntables and a microphone.

With all of the big-name hip hop that I listen to, there's times when I question whether or not I'm more into the production values than the actual rhymes.
However, despite all of the Kanye/9th Wonder/Pete Rock-produced stuff I'm into, there are times when an entire record label can remind me why the lyrics and turntableism are just as important.

G'Head Stones Throw Records.

They're throwing out some serious shit right now, like Oh No (who is totally Madlib's younger brother), Peanut Butter Wolf, Dudley Perkins, and Percee P.
As well, they have some popular fellas, such as MF Doom, Madlib and his billion personas, and J-Dilla (RIP).

The site's got downloads and podcasts, too.

~sarah p.

And the sign says long haired freaky peopl need not apply

First it was Bustah, then Kelis, and now Luda!?!?!? Yes that's right folks, Ludacris is chopping off his fro. Please don't say ?uestlove is next.

-Pickle