'Round here, dudes get their legs broke for that type of sass-back.

~sarah p.

Set the bitch free....

Come on, JT. I know you're probably the nicest guy in the universe, so I'm sure that getting together with Spears for a little recording/handjob sesh seems like it might be the right thing to do at the moment. I think it's rad when ex-couples can still enjoy each other's company, however, after a failed marriage to a douchebag, two babies, and a stint in rehab, it might be time to cut all ties with this one (even if Timbo says it's a good idea).

~sarah p.

Take that, rewind it back.

The other day I saw this show where people were trying to get into the Guiness Book of World Records for cooking really fast. At the end of the show, I thought to myself: "Psshhhhhhttt... Lil Jon could kick all of those guy's asses at record-breaking". Guess what? He did, and it's for something waaay more meaningful than making 300 pancakes in an hour.

~sarah p.

Mixtape Monday: BC Kids vs Alberta Kids.

I grew up in a small town in the middle of BC where we did not have cable or a decent record store. The only outside source for any musical inspiration that we had was older brothers and cousins. Days would be spent taping their copies of Funkdoobiest, Too $hort, and whatever other tapes that your mom would have not been to excited about had she heard the lyrics. Here's my choice of songs that kept me out of and in trouble from grades 7 through 12.

Side A (BC Kids):

1. Doobie to the Head - Funkdoobiest
2. The Puncky Feel One - Cypress Hill
3. Smokin Stix - Coolio
4. Fuck Maritnez - 2 Live Crew

5. Gimme That Nut - Eazy E
6. Punk Bitch - Too $hort
7. Feel so Good - Ma$e ( I know it's a horrible song but in my grade 10 yr you couldn't go anywhere without hearing it)
8. Do Whatchu Like - Digital Underground
9. Keep Their Heads Ringin' - Dr Dre
10. The Gangsta, The Killa, and The Dope Dealer - Westside Connection

-Pickle


Side B (Alberta Kids):

Alberta kids were obsessed with soundracks to movies that we would never see or never understand. My tape collection was full of soundtracks to movies such as Juice, Above The Rim, The Show, and Higher Learning. Alberta kids also have a genetic disposition to love Biggie Smalls, which probably had something to do with the fact that he was a beefy guy, and Alberta is a pretty fat province. Most of us flat-out ignored Canadian and conscience hip hop until late high school, and were into a pretty decent mix of shitty west-coast Dre-offshoots and clever east-coast jams. Early Sunday evenings on CJSW were the best time to get caught up on the latest and the greatest, but some of my favorite songs were discovered on awful, thrown-together mixtapes that I'd buy with change at the HMV in North Hill Mall. Here are some of the more memorable songs that Alberta kids were obsessed with:

1. Without a Doubt - Black Sheep
2. Chief Rocka - Lords Of The Underground
3. I Need You Tonight - Junior M.A.F.I.A ft. Biggie Smalls and Aaliyah
4. Situation : Grimm - Mista Grimm
5. This DJ - Warren G
6. Big Pimpin' - The Dogg Pound Gangstas
7. Lickshot- Grand Puba
8. Caught in Da Ak - Das EFX
9. Afro Puffs - Lady of Rage
10. Ghetto Jam- Domino

~sarah p.

3 Ft. and....

Anyone who bums around on the mp3 blogs has probably already copped this video, but in case you missed it: De La's 3 Ft and Rising video press-kit.

~sarah p.

Who needs a keyboard when you have a Gameboy

This just in: Mash ups are over. The next big thing is this.

-Pickle

Call now! (Carlton will probably answer)

~sarah p.

Biggie Mixtape.

Christopher Wallace (May 21, 1972- March 9, 1997) - R.I.P.


Side A:

1. Respect ft Diana King
2. Big Poppa
3. Can I Get Witcha
4. Kick in the Door ft the Mad Rapper
5. Big Booty Hoes ft Too $hort
6. Notorious Thugs
7. Mo Money Mo Problems ft Puff Daddy & Mase
8. Whatch Want (The Commision) ft Jay Z
9. Unbelievable
10. Hypnotize

-Pickle

Side B:

1. Who Shot Ya?
2. I Love The Dough (ft. Jay-Z)
3. Party and Bullshit
4. Can't You See - Total ft. Biggie
5. Me & My Bitch
6. Flava in Your Ear Remix - Craig Mack ft. Biggie, LL Cool J, and Busta Rhymes
7. Juicy
8. Player's Anthem (ft. Junior MAFIA & KRS One)
9. The What (ft. Method Man)
10. Gimme The Loot

~sarah p.

ESL.

It's a pretty well-known fact that the cutest people in the world are ESL students. They can never get their words quite right, and don't understand the difference between saying "This food is the shit", and "this food is shit", so most of the time when you're hanging around them, you spend your time smiling and shaking your head. So cute!

However, cute doesn't get you very far in this world. "Cute" gets you a sweet job at the dollar store. At some point, you may want to fully assimilate into western society and get a regular job, such as a drug dealer or pimp. Unfortunately, this means that you're gonna have to take your language to the next level. Here's where the "Off the Hook" textbook comes in handy. Learn phrases such as "You actin' like a biotch", and skyrocket yourself from adorable ESL student to hardened street-thug.

~sarah p.